went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
