As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
