We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I believe in your delicious
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