Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
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The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
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candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night