I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
