Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We left an ass print on the piano.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
