just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
