I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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