he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
