who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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