Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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