dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
