I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize