do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
