she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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