my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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