The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
