one might say we're banned from that church
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
