false alarm. still invincible.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
