If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
