wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
