I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize