I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
