i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
wow bdsm is so cute
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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