we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
well you can't waste a boner
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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