Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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