I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
