he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
