wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
now i know why i became what i already was.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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