my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
