Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
