dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's the barista slut.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
