Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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