I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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