Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
