I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
