she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
