Dual....:-)
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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