Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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