she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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