But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
