Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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