the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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