We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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