Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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