HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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