no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
