before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
