If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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