And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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