..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
