I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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