This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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