His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
