kristin has been a bad kristin
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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