please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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