Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
