is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
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Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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