Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We're too hungover to prance.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize