You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Even my vagina gasped.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
