Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
