oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
